Wednesday, April 30, 2014

An emotional journey part 4 ...

Here is part 1, part 2 and part 3...

We were kind of in a stressful time in our life deciding what would be best for our family and hoping it would all work out to travel with my husband instead of me being a single Mom for months.  Well, it did work out and we were on our way to living in Italy for 2 1/2 months!  We were all so excited.  In the hustle of trying to get ready, I didn't take time to take care of myself.  I was ready to be committed while I was in Italy though or so I thought.

A while ago I had stumbled upon a book called The Emotion Code.  My friend had told me about it again so I thought I'd revisit again while I had a little more time being in Italy.  Basically what it talks about is that our energy fields get blocked with trapped emotions and our health suffers from those bumps in our energy tracks.  The book teaches you how to muscle test so that you can learn to release these emotions to put yourself on a better track of health.  I dedicated time each day to find and release these emotions.  I had some BIG ones related to weight and self-sabotage. I released some that were trapped in my neck causing me neck pain and it literally has not come back since I released those, which is HUGE for me.  I firmly believe in this homeopathic idea and am so glad I came across it.  It has helped me have a better attitude towards my weight loss and goals.  I have been able to stop the self-sabotage that I used to have by sneaking candy or chocolate thinking nobody would know if I ate it so it wouldn't hurt me.  I have been able to stop beating myself up for every little 'mistake' I make.  I have been able to move forward again in my healthiness journey with a new found goal, a new found attitude and a desire to break the bad habits that have put me where I am today.

I know it wounds so, so crazy and weird, but The Emotion Code and it's 'sister' The Body Code have literally helped save my life from things I didn't even know where sabotaging it.  I am so grateful for finding it and the help I know it is going to give me on my healthiness journey.  Some day, I will become a certified practitioner for these systems and cannot wait to help others on their journey as well!

My emotional journey to health is not complete.  I will still have cream added to my bucket that I will have to churn into butter, but I am still swimming.  I am still not giving up. I still have faith that some day I will find the key to unlock my fat and become fit and fabulous!

---What cream has been added to your bucket lately?  How do you keep swimming?
--Have you done anything lately just for you?

Monday, April 28, 2014

Mind over body ...

I had a fight with my body today while exercising. It wanted to stop.  It wanted to be done with the workout.  It was telling my mind that it was tired and that we should stop and catch our breath or stop completely.  My  MIND won.  I pushed through my body telling me no.  I invisioned my body changing.  I invisioned the toxins and fat cells leaving my body.  I actually invisioned myself crossing the finish line at my next triathlon feeling fit and fabulous and you know what?  I CAN if I THINK I CAN ...

--what do you do to push through a hard workout?
--what is your favorite way to get your mind to control your body?

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

An emotional journey part 3 ...

Part 1 and Part 2 of my emotional journey...

Did I mention I cried?  Well, I did to several people.  One of those people had a friend who had a story similar to mine and had finally found Ideal Protein and did that diet and lost a lot of weight.  I felt like this may be my answer, so I gave it a shot.  Well, it worked, I dropped a lot of weight.  I was amazed to see the scale go down, 5 pounds after only one week!  What? I had been trying for months just to lose 5 pounds.  This was my answer.  This was what was going to make me happy, right?  I guess it did for a while.  I loved going to weigh ins each week knowing I'd lost pounds and inches. BUT, I wasn't really happy.  It is hard to explain because I was happy, but I wasn't.  I was focusing only on the scale and not in other areas of my life to complete my happiness.  I only had a few months to do the diet because I had set a goal to complete a triathlon that summer and I needed to start training and on the Ideal Protein diet they encourage you not to workout hard, I had tried and my body didn't really respond well to it, so I knew I would have to phase off and do just my workouts for my triathlon, which was okay.  I had gotten close to my goal weight and I figured my working out for a triathlon would help me get to the rest.

Well, it didn't.  I completely enjoyed my triathlon training and the struggles and strengths I found while doing it!  I felt amazing.  I was over coming fears, I was doing something I didn't think was possible.  You can go HERE to check those out.  I actually didn't even weigh myself during the summer because I didn't care.  I felt great, I was doing fun things and I was happy.

Triathlon season stopped and so did I.  I was burnt out from the effort, both emotional, physical and mental.  I thought I'd give myself a break of about a month or so and then start back up so I could keep up my fitness level and hopefully eat good and lose more weight ... if only our best intentions always panned out.

My husband started traveling, he was gone for most of October and all of December and you know what those months do to you food wise anyway!  Ugg, it was a very emotional, very hard time for me.  I'd start to try to work out, get too tired, stop, try again ... all the while pretending I was eating well but sneaking things I knew were not going to help me get where I wanted.  But I was lonely and tired and frustrated all at the same resulted in weight gain ... AGAIN!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Staying committed ...

I finished day #11 on my fitness blender workout plan.  I didn't want to do it.  I kept telling myself I didn't need to, it wasn't going to be worth it, I was too tired.  BUT I did it!  I finished that workout and I felt pretty good after.  I fought myself the whole time saying, I'll just do 2 sets instead of 3.  I'll just do a little less cardio instead of finishing it through.  But I knew I'd be disappointed in myself if I gave up, so I finished it all strong and was happy that I did.

Is it only me or is it super hard to stay committed when you don't see any progress?  Or I guess the progress I want to see?

I haven't seen anything budge on the scale ... not one thing, but I have been able to see progress in my strength and ability to finish my work outs and push my body.  Yes that is wonderful, but I would be lying if I said that was satisfying enough.  I want to SEE changes in my body just not the amount I can lift while working out my body.

Frustration is a hard emotion for me to work through, but I have been working through it this time because while I want the scale to move and I want to look better in my clothes, I also know that I can only control what I can control and I can control how often I work out.  I can control that I don't give up.  I can control that I keep trying to figure out my body and I can control that I will figure out this cycle I am on and figure out how to be the best me I can be ... even if the scale doesn't move.

I have set a goal to not touch the scale until I return home from our travels.  I will continue to work out and eat right and if the scale won't budge hopefully at least I will have more energy and at least look toned. 

I have done a lot of homeopathic work, emotions and otherwise, that hopefully will help my journey along and I am just trying to stay committed to what I hope will help me in the long run!

---How do you work through frustration?
---How do you not focus on the scale and look for other progress?

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

An emotional journey part 2...

 Go HERE for part 1 of my emotional journey...

I have a friend who was probably the sickest person I know.  She could hardly eat anything and she was always sick too.  She had been going and doing some alternative medicine things and I felt like this might be my answer since Western Medicine wasn't helping me anymore.  They were telling me I was normal and that I would just have to function the way I was...or take anti-depressant pills.  No thanks!

So, I started to do some alternative medicine things.  My adrenal glands were not functioning, so I took pills to try to help them.  My iron was obviously still low so I took pills for them.  I took pills for my kidneys because they were not flushing all the toxins out of my body.  Yada, Yada, I took whatever my body tested that I needed.  I wasn't completely satisfied with this either, although I was starting to feel better.  But, I wanted more.  I didn't want to be tied to pills for the rest of my life so my same friend had started trying something new as well for allergy treatments.  Basically the idea is, that our body has reactions to all things that we put it in contact with, some good, some bad.  If you have 'allergies' to these things, your body will react negatively to them each time you come in contact with them.  This treatment is called NAET and it literally changed my life.  It is crazy and amazing all at the same time.  They 'treat' you for your allergy so that the next time you come in contact with that thing, your bodies energy says oh this stuff is okay, I'm not going to act crazy this time.  And it works.  I went through countless treatments and the brain fog I had disappeared, the tiredness diminished, my energy levels started to come up and most of all my iron levels finally stayed normal and I wasn't even supplementing it!  I was so happy!  But, I still had a ways to go for my to be completely satisfied.  I still had some headaches, jaw pain and I still could not drop weight which was frustrating.

My husband had started going to a new chiropractor who also used a muscle technique that he loved.  It helps get your muscles to fire correctly as sometimes they fatigue and will go into a secondary muscle to help the primary muscle.  Anyway, I decided I should go check him out and see if he could help me.  He helped me so much!  He helped my jaw, neck and head pain diminish!  What a miracle to not be in constant pain in my head.  Loved that!  Another answer to prayers, but I was still so frustrated with my weight.

I was working out, eating what I thought was right and I still could not drop weight, which is ultimately what I wanted.  I wanted my energy levels up. I wanted to feel great, but really, I wanted that scale to go down.  At one point, I figured if I worked out more I would lose more weight so I worked out twice a day for a whole month and still nothing.  I cried.  I cried a lot!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Day #9 ...

I am slightly frustrated again ... big surprise.  I want results much faster than results want to happen.  I want to have seen my body changing already but the only change I 'see' is that I am getting stronger.  I am able to do more reps or use more weight or hold a static exercise longer, which is good don't get me wrong, but I am doing this to look better, not just be stronger so I was hoping to see results quicker.

I will keep pressing on because once I have a plan and know exactly what I need to do each day I do MUCH better.  For some reason trying to chose what to do makes me not want to do it :), so this Fitness Blender 8 week challenge has been great for me.

Today's workout wasn't too bad, except for the burpees.  I actually enjoyed the first 60 or so of them, but the last 20 were not my friends.  Being able to do more with the core exercises than I ever have been able to before was nice too.  I could actually do a reverse crunch (lifting my legs up to elevate my hips off the ground) which I have never been able to do!  That was encouraging.

Onward and forward to get the body my soul desires!

--How are you doing on your fitness journey?
--How do you measure progress?

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Meal plan ...

Day 1:
Breakfast: melon, grapes and whole grain muffin
Snack: carrots, slice of PB toast
Snack: Protein shake
Dinner: Big salad with chicken, 2 slices pizza

Day 2:
Breakfast: grapes, veggie omelet
Snack: cucumbers, boiled egg
Lunch: Protein shake
Snack: granola bar, banana
Dinner: salad w/apples, chicken/veggie stir fry
Day 3:
Breakfast: muffin, cantaloupe, plum
Snack: salad w/chicken
Lunch: protein shake
Snack: carrots, apple and nuts
Dinner: chicken, rice, pita bread
Day 4:
Breakfast: Grapes, eggs/beef sausage burrito
Snack: pretzels, cucumbers
Lunch: pizza
Snack: carrots, ice cream
Dinner: scrambled eggs, pancake
(today was an awful day and I had to resist shoving everything into my face.  We went to a local festival and I chose to try some very yummy mango ice-cream!)
Day 5:
Breakfast: Whole wheat toast, banana
Snack: carrots, boiled eggs
Lunch: protein shake
Snack: PB toast, plum
Dinner: Chicken, pita bread, lettuce

Day 6:
Breakfast: grapes, cantaloupe, wheat toast
Snack: Boiled egg, apple
Lunch: protein shake
Dinner: Fish, shrimp, cooked carrots

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Day #6 ...

Wow, I got my booty handed to me today on my workout.  I was feeling crappy yesterday and super tired from not sleeping so I took my optional cardio day to just take it easy.  I still walked around and stretched when I could and apparently that helped a lot because last night I finally slept better and today my hamstrings are not killing me.

I was reluctant to get into my workout today but I knew if I started I'd finish it out and be happy once I finished.  So, I got after it.

But boy, was it a tough workout.  I am still in the 'beginner' area of the whole 8 weeks and they say it gets harder, I hope I am getting stronger :)!  The twisted mountain climbers kicked my trash, not to mention the windmill steps, oh and the reverse lunge skips.  HAHA, my heart was beating, I was sweating!  If you want to check it out it is the Total Body Boot Camp video at Fitness Blender!  It rocked.  Happy to see the WORKOUT COMPLETE
 screen though!

Go me!  Haven't missed a workout yet...

---what is your favorite workout?
---Have you tried any of the fitness blender workouts?

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

An emotional journey part 1...

My journey into healthiness has been a long one.  I started feeling completely miserable shortly after I had my fourth child.  Looking back now, my body was starting to give me these same signals after my third, but I didn't listen then.  I just settled thinking I was tired from having 3 children so fast.  I had tried between each child to lose weight, successfully getting down to around the same number each time, only loosing 5 or 10 pounds each time and then getting stuck.  I'd get frustrated, start to not care and then it was time to get pregnant again...the circle always turning.  After my fourth was born, I was exhausted, I was completely sick of feeling awful.  There were days I wouldn't even want to get off the couch to help my children.  Everything was exhausting, every day a struggle.  I ended up having surgery on my foot 6 months after having my 4th child as well.  I think that completely put me over the top of feeling crappy.  
After I felt like I had had enough and after a good crying session with my husband, we started to work out together.  He did it to help me try to stay motivated, plus he likes to be fit too and it is hard to take the time unless you have a reason.  He helped me put together a weight lifting routine and I would do cardiovascular stuff too.  Well, around that same time I had an IUD placed thinking it would be an amazing thing for my body because I wanted to wait awhile to have more children, if ever, so why not?  Well, that DID not go well for me.  I bleed, I cried, I had it removed and then I had the most painful pain in my abdomen after lifting one day. I thought I had just pulled a muscle so I laid low for awhile.  It didn't go away, so I headed to my doctor.  I had an ovarian cyst, a big one.  They said to just watch it and see if I could tolerate the pain and it should shrink and go away.  Well, after one week I was in a ton more pain so they decided to remove it via surgery.  Another surgery, another loss of blood, another set back in my goals of becoming fit.

After that surgery, I seriously hit my lowest point.  I had a crazy huge massive headache every day.  I got dizzy when I stood up. I couldn't think straight.  My brain was always foggy.  I was grouchy with myself and with almost everyone around me, including my children.  I went to the doctor and they wanted to put me on anti-depressants.  I knew I wasn't depressed, or maybe I was?  No, that answer didn't work for me.  I went to a different doctor...I forced him to check my blood levels for SO many things.  They thought I might have MS, so we did a CT scan.  Nothing turned up. I was deemed normal.  HA!  This is not a normal way to feel.  I went back to an internal medicine doctor thinking maybe I had diabetes.  Nope.  So, I finally asked them to check my ferriten levels (iron) and I was so extremely low that they almost admitted me to the hospital.  Wow, really?  I'm not just normal?  So, iron infusions came, double dose, twice a month.  Rechecked my ferritin, still not normal.  Another month of twice a month double dose, back to a closer range of normal.  I feel great after I get the infusions for about a week and then I start to feel crappy again. I went through this for about 6 months and then when my levels wouldn't stay normalized I needed something more.

At this point I was exhausted.  I was tired of being told I was normal.  I was tired of feeling like crap and thinking this was going to be my normal.  I was tired of being grumpy all the time.  I was JUST TIRED!  Then, an answer to a prayer...

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Day #3 ...

I have felt so proud of myself these last few days.  I have made no excuses, got my exercises in and eaten very well.  My time right now is kind of unique as I am not in my own home.  I have breakfast available to me each day, I have to fine healthy lunches and have to choose the healthiest option I can for dinner as we are going out a lot because of limited kitchen space.  BUT, I can proudly say that I am making the best choices that I can and when I cannot, I make sure I eat a big salad and only a little bit of whatever else, like pizza. It has been a unique challenge, but it will be worth it when I go home and I am ahead of the game on training for my triathlons this year!  

Exercise has not been super easy to START this week, but once I get going I enjoy it and I love it after when I am done.  I haven't slept real well this week adjusting to our new surroundings and time zone, but I haven't used that as an excuse to get my exercising in.  Yea!

All in all, I am very happy with how the last 3 days has gone. I hope that I see results this week on the scale too!

--What do you do when you are in unique situations to eat the best you can?
--What is your favorite exercise routine?

Friday, April 4, 2014

This is my TIME ...

This is my time.  I finally feel confident enough to get the body my soul desires.  I need to remember that this journey is for me.  This is a way for me to feel like I can shine the light that I am trying to shine to the world.  I want to feel completely confident with my body which helps me be confident in all the situations I am put in.  I want to be an example of joy, happiness and dedication to other people who may be struggling.


I will be following a program that I found done by the makers of  It is 2 months, I can do anything for 2 months.  I will try to check in here several times a week, but for sure with a weigh in every week and progress pictures throughout the process.

I started yesterday, with my rest day today.  Yesterday was a physical fitness test.

1 mile run: 11 minutes
The rest is how many I could do in a 2 minute time frame
Push-ups: 3 full, 12 'girl'
Crunches: 60
Pull-ups: 20 second hold

I will succeed!  I will accomplish my goals.  I will do all that I can to get the body my soul desires!!!

starting weight: 76.8 kg

--What do you do to be an example?
--What do you desire most in your heart?