Wednesday, April 23, 2014

An emotional journey part 3 ...

Part 1 and Part 2 of my emotional journey...

Did I mention I cried?  Well, I did to several people.  One of those people had a friend who had a story similar to mine and had finally found Ideal Protein and did that diet and lost a lot of weight.  I felt like this may be my answer, so I gave it a shot.  Well, it worked, I dropped a lot of weight.  I was amazed to see the scale go down, 5 pounds after only one week!  What? I had been trying for months just to lose 5 pounds.  This was my answer.  This was what was going to make me happy, right?  I guess it did for a while.  I loved going to weigh ins each week knowing I'd lost pounds and inches. BUT, I wasn't really happy.  It is hard to explain because I was happy, but I wasn't.  I was focusing only on the scale and not in other areas of my life to complete my happiness.  I only had a few months to do the diet because I had set a goal to complete a triathlon that summer and I needed to start training and on the Ideal Protein diet they encourage you not to workout hard, I had tried and my body didn't really respond well to it, so I knew I would have to phase off and do just my workouts for my triathlon, which was okay.  I had gotten close to my goal weight and I figured my working out for a triathlon would help me get to the rest.

Well, it didn't.  I completely enjoyed my triathlon training and the struggles and strengths I found while doing it!  I felt amazing.  I was over coming fears, I was doing something I didn't think was possible.  You can go HERE to check those out.  I actually didn't even weigh myself during the summer because I didn't care.  I felt great, I was doing fun things and I was happy.

Triathlon season stopped and so did I.  I was burnt out from the effort, both emotional, physical and mental.  I thought I'd give myself a break of about a month or so and then start back up so I could keep up my fitness level and hopefully eat good and lose more weight ... if only our best intentions always panned out.

My husband started traveling, he was gone for most of October and all of December and you know what those months do to you food wise anyway!  Ugg, it was a very emotional, very hard time for me.  I'd start to try to work out, get too tired, stop, try again ... all the while pretending I was eating well but sneaking things I knew were not going to help me get where I wanted.  But I was lonely and tired and frustrated all at the same resulted in weight gain ... AGAIN!

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