An emotional journey part 2...

 Go HERE for part 1 of my emotional journey...

I have a friend who was probably the sickest person I know.  She could hardly eat anything and she was always sick too.  She had been going and doing some alternative medicine things and I felt like this might be my answer since Western Medicine wasn't helping me anymore.  They were telling me I was normal and that I would just have to function the way I was...or take anti-depressant pills.  No thanks!

So, I started to do some alternative medicine things.  My adrenal glands were not functioning, so I took pills to try to help them.  My iron was obviously still low so I took pills for them.  I took pills for my kidneys because they were not flushing all the toxins out of my body.  Yada, Yada, I took whatever my body tested that I needed.  I wasn't completely satisfied with this either, although I was starting to feel better.  But, I wanted more.  I didn't want to be tied to pills for the rest of my life so my same friend had started trying something new as well for allergy treatments.  Basically the idea is, that our body has reactions to all things that we put it in contact with, some good, some bad.  If you have 'allergies' to these things, your body will react negatively to them each time you come in contact with them.  This treatment is called NAET and it literally changed my life.  It is crazy and amazing all at the same time.  They 'treat' you for your allergy so that the next time you come in contact with that thing, your bodies energy says oh this stuff is okay, I'm not going to act crazy this time.  And it works.  I went through countless treatments and the brain fog I had disappeared, the tiredness diminished, my energy levels started to come up and most of all my iron levels finally stayed normal and I wasn't even supplementing it!  I was so happy!  But, I still had a ways to go for my to be completely satisfied.  I still had some headaches, jaw pain and I still could not drop weight which was frustrating.

My husband had started going to a new chiropractor who also used a muscle technique that he loved.  It helps get your muscles to fire correctly as sometimes they fatigue and will go into a secondary muscle to help the primary muscle.  Anyway, I decided I should go check him out and see if he could help me.  He helped me so much!  He helped my jaw, neck and head pain diminish!  What a miracle to not be in constant pain in my head.  Loved that!  Another answer to prayers, but I was still so frustrated with my weight.

I was working out, eating what I thought was right and I still could not drop weight, which is ultimately what I wanted.  I wanted my energy levels up. I wanted to feel great, but really, I wanted that scale to go down.  At one point, I figured if I worked out more I would lose more weight so I worked out twice a day for a whole month and still nothing.  I cried.  I cried a lot!

Sabotaging thoughts...

 Wow, this article was eye opening!  I love when I find a great article to really help me with the emotional side of my weight struggles.  When I can write them out, figure them out and move past them, I know I am in a better place.  I know that I can leave them as part of my past and stay the healthy person I have worked so hard to become.  

Go check out the article HERE.

I know we are all guilty of saying many of these sabotaging thoughts. 

Here were a few of mine when I wrote them down.

-- My kids are driving me crazy, I NEED some chocolate.

-- Nobody will know if I eat this if I don't write it down or eat it in front of everyone.

-- I want it so I can have it.

-- I don't want to feel deprived when everyone else is having something.

-- They are eating it, so I can too.

-- I am too tired to work out.

-- I don't have enough time to work out and shower and get everything else done I need to.

-- I am not physically fit enough to do that activity.

Well, guess where those thoughts got me?  Overweight and unhappy in my own skin.  I had to change those thoughts into something that I knew would serve me and my body.  It wasn't easy, I still struggle with some of these thoughts, but I KNOW what I want my body to feel like and feeding it junk and sitting on the couch only makes me feel like junk and to stay on the couch.

I still want sweets sometimes.  I still enjoy them, I just do it every once in a while instead of every day.  I just have a little of something and am satisfied with that.  I do enjoy working out and am always glad I do, some days are just harder than others.  This change of thoughts and actions isn't easy, it takes time and effort, but I am worth it.  YOU are worth it.  We are ALL worth it.

*Enjoy a Beautiful day!!

--What are some of your sabotaging thoughts?

--What have you done to change the way you think?

Hit a chord...

I LOVE this post from Heather K. Jones.

If you repeat this over and over in your mind, you WILL change.  You will feel like its time.  You will feel like you are worth it.  So many times I have struggled with these exact thoughts, just opposite.  Now is the time to change your mind set.  Now is the time to make the changes in your life that will make it AMAZING!

I am willing to change.

I create my healthy and abundant life.

I prioritize of my health and well-being.

I deserve to be healthy and happy.

I love my body and honor it with a healthy lifestyle.

Opportunities to improve my health are everywhere.

I deserve to be healthy and I am worthy of a wonderful life.

Have a very happy Monday and an even better week!!

Progress pictures...1 month...

One month down, 16 pounds and 17 inches!  I can see a lot of progress in these pictures!  Love how much my body is changing.   Cannot wait to see what another month will do!

Weight Threshold...

I have hit my weight threshold, you know the place where people start to notice you are loosing weight and telling you that you look good.  Well, it got me thinking quite a bit about that.  On Sunday, I see the same people just about every week, on a weekly basis.  Most of them don't see me every day, some of them do, but the ones who gave me the most compliments, I haven't seen for several weeks.  

 

At first I thought it might be because I was wearing a pretty pink, springy dress that I hadn't worn in about 3 years, then I thought it was because I felt pretty so I radiated happiness, then I remembered I had lost 13 pounds and my face, arms and stomach were slimmer.  I am sure it has to be a combination of all 3 as to why I got more than 8 compliments in one day when usually I am just passed by in the hall.

Any other time I have tried to release weight, I get to about 160 and that is all my body will do.  I have only been past 160 once in my adult life (that I have tracked my weight.  I never did before my 2nd baby).  But at this point in all of my times of weight loss, I have always started losing the weight in my face and people start to notice...so I call it my weight threshold.  It is a great feeling, yet frustrating at the same time because I wonder why people notice skinnier people, why people compliment me more now that I have lost 13 pounds.  I am happy with my transformation just got me thinking.

Have you noticed a difference in the way people treat you as you are releasing weight? As you get closer to your goal?

A mother's example...

You read a lot about mother's guilt when they take time to exercise, eat right and take care of themselves.  I see it very differently, thankfully!  I have never felt the guilt that comes with training for a race, eating good food or taking the time to get a girls night...do you know why?  It is important to me AND my children that I am a healthy person, in my own life, in my eating life and in my exercise life not just their Mom.  It makes me a better mother and it gives them something to learn from.

If you feel like you are suffering from mother's guilt....think of it this way.  Would you rather have your adult children struggle with the same things you are or give them the example that exercising, eating right and treating our bodies well is just a habit that we LOVE to do?

I love when my kids eat some lean protein and a dinner full of veggies and know that it will make their body healthy and strong.  I love it when they go ride their bike, then run right after so they can train for their 'triathlon'.  I never had the example of eating right and exercising so my body image is way off (I will write more about that some day) and I hope my children don't suffer the same fate as me.  All I can give them is a good example and the education that I have gained!

Do you suffer from mother's guilt?  What do you do to be an example to your kids?

Before pictures...

These aren't pretty, but I am working on it :).  These pictures are taken in my goal top/shorts for my upcoming triathlon in July.  I want to look really good in these when the time comes and be able to crush my goal of finishing my first sprint triathlon.  Gotta have a goal to keep me motivated to stay totally ON-PLAN!

Dear Body...

 Last week I posted about what makes me Beautiful, besides my body. It was National Eating Disorder Awareness week and throughout blog land, there were plenty of posts being written that I loved and really connected to.  I really LOVED this one from Love, Life, Surf.  It inspired me to write a letter to my body too.  I think it is important to remember what our bodies do for us and not just focus on what it isn't doing or what we don't like.

So here is my letter...

Dear Body,

Thank you for being mine for the past 29 years.  We have had our ups and our downs, our hardships, our pleasures but we have always stayed together and I am grateful for that.

I am sorry for not acknowledging your needs for so many years. I am sorry that I took time for everyone else but you. I am sorry that it has taken me this many years of neglecting you to realize just how much you need to be feed, spiritually, mentally and physically.  I realize now just how important you are for me to be able to accomplish my dreams.

Thank you for sticking with me.  Thank you for sending the signals that helped me find out what was wrong.  Thank you for being strong enough to bounce back to good health.  Thank you for carrying and creating 4 beautiful children who bring so much joy to my life.  Thank you for taking care of me even when I didn't take care of you.  

I will be forever thankful to you, my body, for the wonderful things you have helped me accomplish in this life.  I am learning to love and embrace your flaws and celebrate the wonderful things you do have! Thank you from the bottom of your heart!

Love, Me

What do you love about yourself?  What do you wish you could tell your body?

Work on ME...

"I am ME and so happy with it"

I love this!  Because it is SO true.  I sometimes get caught up on reading all your awesome blogs, seeing facebook status updates or reading magazine articles about how far you are running and how fast, how much weight you are loosing, the awesome veggies you ate today, the amazing jeans you now fit into, the awesome sponsors you have on your blogs and I get sad.  I get into the "maybe I am NOT doing something right.  Maybe I am not good enough.  Maybe I should just give up".  But guess what?  I am ME. I am on my own personal journey to health.  I am doing the best I can with what God has given me and that is all that matters.  I will continue to work on ME.  To become the BEST ME I can be. 

I printed this out and put it on my fridge!  Everyone should remember it!

What do you do to remind yourself to worry about yourself and nobody else?

My Body Doesn't make me Beautiful...

It is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week and with all the blog posts going on around the blogosphere, I was really reflecting on my relationship with food and my body image. This is a hard subject where ever you turn I think.  There is negatives all around and you really have to search for the positives.  They are out there, thank goodness, but you have to want to find them.

My personal experience is kind of messy.  I have a very odd relationship with food and it goes from good to not so good very often.  I am doing much better lately because I know my body needs fuel to get through my workouts and busy schedule.  I have been told recently that I need to eat 1800-2000 calories to lose any weight and that has been a difficult bridge for me to go over.  Our minds are pounded with having to eat around 1200 to lose anything, but I feel like I overeat when I eat a full 2000 calories.  It has been an eye opening experience for me and I will go into it a little more some day.

 

With all of that, I wanted to play along with Lindsay over at the Lean Green Bean. I wanted to list 3 things that make me beautiful!

#1...My Body...but not because of what size it is (or isn't) but because it has given me my greatest blessings, my 4 children.  It has given me my greatest struggles in where I have learned so much about myself and my abilities to overcome poor health and embrace feeling wonderful in my body.  I have struggles, victories and everything in between with my body but overall I couldn't live without it :)!

#2...My Faith...I have faith that things will work out eventually. I know that if I keep doing good things, good things will happen. I know that if I love myself, my children and my husband, Love will be returned to me in many different ways.  I know that if I love and serve others around me, I will receive blessings for many of the things I need in my life.

#3...My Persistence...I have kept 'swimming' so as to make some butter from this cream bucket I have fallen into.  I have never totally given up...some parts of my life have been more difficult than others but I do not have much 'quit' in me.  I will succeed in my desires to be fit and fabulous!  I know that eventually my efforts will be noticed and I will NOT give up!

What are 3 things you love about yourself that doesn't involve weight, looks or your bodies?